THE MISSING INTERN.
But first, I can't leave out the museum. So one day Leonel and I decided it was time to see the dolphins over at Anthony's Key Resort. We arrive in our rental Isuzu truck, happy that we could make the trip and see some dolphins jump around. The first thing I saw when we got there was the snack bar. I really wanted an ice cream but it was closed in the middle of the day. We
should've turned around right there, but we trudged onward to the information booth. "There is no dolphin show today," said the lady, she was obviously quite annoyed that we would ask such a question. For some reason, she wouldn't give us a straight answer. Were the dolphins not there? Was the show not every day? Finally, she, against her will it seemed, told us
that the dolphins were busy making babies, so there would be no show. Fine. That's nothing to be embarassed about, is it? Has anyone seen The Life Aquatic? Remember when Bill Murray was trying to get his dolphins to go and spy on another part of the ship and they didn't do anything? The guy said, "Either they can't hear us, or they don't understand us." I now can relate to such a frustration. Dang dolphins. I should've known it would end that way. Unpredictable those dolphins are.
We went to the Roatan Museum instead, eager to see the magical history of one of the Bay Islands. Leonel told me a story about how he went to some country and saw a Jade Museum, pointed out in travelling books as a "must-see." It was just about the most boring place he had ever been to. Apparently that was a better experience for him than Roatan's famous
museum. He gave it a 2 on a scale of 1-10.
There is a baby that came to the clinic last week. I don't remember her exact age, but I think she was 5 months or younger. The poor thing has a heart murmur. Leonel let me listen to her heart and lungs. Leonel and Charles suggested she go to Ceiba to get treatment, but even if she gets there, the operation she might need would cost thousands of US dollars.The
day after our clinic saw her, Dr. Jackie saw the girl and all seemed well again. I don't know how everything will work out, but I hope future interns can try to followup with her.
On Friday night, Charles and Francisco came to West End to hang out. We went to The Twisted Toucan. Everyone looks so familiar on this island. At one point Charles and Leonel went to the restroom. In less than a minute, a semi-familiar looking local lady came and started talking to me. Interns! Don't be left alone unless you enjoy being hit on. This lady's dorky friend
from Kansas came over and told me all about how his fiance dumped him and that she's not coming back, etc, etc, etc. Man, shoot me now. I was sure that my bloody eye would scare him away. Isn't this eye hemorrhage good for anything?! After Toucan closed, none of us were tired so we went to French Harbour to go watch t.v. at Francisco's. We stayed until 5am. Why? I don't know, but I've always been a fan of late night t.v. There's nothing better than watching the Magic Bullet infomercial at 3 in the morning.
On Saturday, after waking up at 1:30pm, Leonel and I went in search of yet another isolated beach. We figured we could find one before Jess arrived that afternoon. We started driving towards what we thought would take us to West Bay. We ended up near Flowers Bay, opposite West End. Then the road ended, but that, for some reason, didn't stop us. On and on we went until, at last, we found what looked like a pretty nice beach. There was one other couple on the beach, but we didn't mind. It was isolated enough. We hopped out of the truck and set up camp. For such a nice beach, there was a good amount of trash. We named it "Basura Beach." Why does everything sound better in Spanish? One of life's mysteries. Anyway, we got in the water, looked over at the other couple, and realized they were stark naked. Europeans? Maybe. Although they looked it, for Europeans, they were sure scared of us seeing them in their birthday suits. They put their clothes back on and left. Too bad. No dolphins and no naked people: two strikes. What a week. To top it off, Leonel and I learned from visiting the Roatan
Institute for Marine Sciences that it takes a little chunk of coral 50 years to grow. In ten minutes of swimming, Leonel stood up on some "rocks." According to my calculations, he destroyed about 100000000 years worth of coral.
We left Basura beach just in time to meet Jess at the airport. Leonel made a lovely sign that said "Global Healing." It was about the size of a drivers license. We were both very excited to see my replacement. "Maybe that's her! She looks interny." Nope. Nope. Not her. Not that one either. Oh wait! Nope, unless Jess looks like a fifty-year old man that's not here either. When the crowd from TACA flight 431 from Houston cleared, Jess was nowhere in sight. Recap: no dolphins, no naked people, no Jess. Leonel and I had a rough week.
To top off our Saturday night, Leonel and I ate, watched the US v Mexico soccer game, showered, then sat around at our respective apartments. It was a Saturday night dud. After frantically emailing Nat and Jenn, it turned out that Jess was stuck in Houston. To quote one great Natalie Ramos, "Houston is a shitty city." Amen to that.
The new plan was that Jess was going to be coming in Sunday at 3:30. We could only hope.
Sunday morning, I went to church for an hour, then Leonel and I were off to find Palmetto Bay. I can't reiterate this enough. LEONEL IS WRONG A LOT. Haha. After a couple wrong turns, big drops, and steep hills we had no prayer of getting back up--we ran over some palm trees and nearly gave up on Palmetto Bay. We found a patch of beach and started walking, in hopes of
finding the resort. In about 5 minutes, we walked right into paradise. Oh my gosh. We had what Jimmy Buffet called "a burger in paradise." At least that's what it said on the menu. I highly doubt Jimmy was talking about Palmetto Bay Resort's burgers. We ate, laid on the beach, then decided it was time to dig ourselves out of the hole we drove ourselves into. We destroyed some more vegetation before we decided to drive on the beach through Palmetto Bay. We made it back to the road. It turns out we took the wrong road to Palmetto Bay. Ugh. Leonel.
INTERN FOUND. Yes. Jess is here. The world is right again. Jess, medications, the new computer. All is well in the RCPHI intern world. When Jess and I got back to the apartment, we unpacked the meds. Wow. More Dimetapp and Benedryl than the world has ever seen, all conveniently packaged in single doses. As soon as Leonel saw the stash, the next words out of his mouth were, "We could sedate a small army." True. It makes the mothers happy to go away with something, but I wish more could be done to get to the bigger problems at hand. The same day we got the new meds, we ran out of Scabecide.
Monday and Tuesday were spent training Jess in the clinic. With two of us, we had time to do a survey, organize meds, and Jess shadowed Leonel and Charles. We even got the new computer up and running. If only we could get the sound to work. I told Jess about the main diagnoses we see on the island: impetigo, scabies, diarrhea, IRA, asthma, and everything else that
came along. She seems to be getting the hang of things fast. I'm no longer needed here, only to translate the docs' writing.
I pride myself on my amazing healing abilities. I could be a small superheroine my eye is healing so well. It's in its yellow stage now. I only have a lighter red bloody left eye and a slightly jaundiced right eye.
I had to pay a visit to the immigration office. Those men live like kings. You should've seen the bling on this guy's wrist. He made me pay for a full month of staying on the island, when I was only 4 days over (380 lempiras). I understood the principle of it, but still didn't think 4 days should count. Oh well.
Maybe this is my last journal? Or maybe this isn't the last you'll here from me.
